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(no subject) [Jun. 13th, 2007|02:20 am]
You know what's fucking awesome? My life as of late.

And now I don't know why, but I still try to smile when they talk at me
like I'm just a child. Well, I'm not a child. No, I am much younger than that.
And now I have read some books and have grown quite brave. If only I could just speak up I think
I would say that there is no truth. There is only you and what you make the truth.
So I will just sing my song and I'll pass a hat. Then I'll leave your town and never look back.
No, I don't look back because the road is clear and laid out ahead of me.
I'll get home and meet my friends at our favorite bar. We'll get some lighter heads for our heavy hearts.
And we will share a drink. Yeah we will share our fears and they will know how I love them.
They will know how I love. They will know how I love them.
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Just a reminder... [Mar. 14th, 2007|04:32 am]
[mood |lazylazy]

I. Suck. At. Life.

That's all for now goodbye
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I want a boy he's drunk he doesn't talk... [Feb. 16th, 2007|02:58 am]
[Current Location |Coffeehouse]
[mood |crankycranky]

Life has been so strange here lately. Just when I think I have it somewhat figured out, it punches me in the face and says you fuckin bet. I have no motivation to go to class. I've been to calculus once this week. I have a test Wednesday or Thursday...I don't even know. I failed my econ test, which is pretty awesome because econ was one of my possible majors. I don't really think I want to major in art history so that leaves with with nothin. And I have to have my major declaration form turned in by Friday. SWEET. I want to buy a car, get in it, and drive to the other side of the world and tell Hanover College to fuck off.

I feel strange about mine and Mikael's relationship. I just have a weird feeling about it. I don't know why. Well, I do, but I dont really want to talk about it. I just feel as though we're drifting even further apart because we never talk or see each other until the weekend because he's too busy hanging out with Chris and getting drunk to pick up the phone and call me. Pretty cool. I would call him except oh yeah he's NEVER home. Even when I do see him, he just acts like he's mad at me or something. Whatever. He complains because I never show emotions or whatever, but then when I do, that just gets either thrown in my face or ignored. Pretty tired of getting my feelings trampled on. I think I had enough of that with the last guy, dontcha think?

This weekend I will hang out with my boys from back home because I love and miss them.

I'm tired and in a bad mood so I'm going to bed and probably sleeping through my calc class.

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(no subject) [Nov. 15th, 2006|01:14 am]
Anyone want to go see Thursday on Thursday?
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(no subject) [Oct. 25th, 2006|02:24 am]
I just wanted everyone to know, that I left my livejournal logged in at philips house.
In addition, I would also like everyone to know that he is the coolest, most good looking person on the planet. That is all.
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(no subject) [Sep. 4th, 2006|11:41 pm]
[mood |blahblah]

It's amazing how one minute someone can tell you that they love you and that they'll always be there for you and then the next minute they can just toss you aside like you're a dirty sock in a rummage sale. I thought promises of forever actually meant something, but apparently they only mean until something better comes along. I wanted space and that's what I got alright. That's ok. I should be used to this feeling by now...shouldn't I? The feeling of emptiness. Sadness. Failure. This time was different...or so I thought. Sure had me fooled. I thought I was coming to a sense of clarity. I did, but it wasn't what I was hoping for. I thought maybe I could forgive and forget, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Not that he cares. Why would he? I'm just me. A sad lost little girl who looks for love in all the wrong places. One who is so desperate to be loved by someone, anyone, that she would do whatever it takes just to find it...even if that means giving up on everyone. In the last 2 weeks, I've felt so alive, but so trapped. So free, yet so locked away. So happy, yet so lost. I don't know what to think anymore. What to believe. Who to believe. Why I should even care anymore. People I thought were once my "friends" only fuel the deceit. Who can I even trust? I know of one. One person who's been there for me no matter how many times I've pushed him away for some other guy. No matter how many times I've fucked up. He's always there. And always will be. I love you. I know now what it's like to get your heart stabbed right out of your chest and stomped on. Something I could so easily do to others before without a second thought. I guess in a way I needed this. I needed to see that I can't run to just any guy for a few months of affection and false love. I guess this time was different.
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hmmm [Jul. 12th, 2006|11:16 pm]
Well, it's been approximately 12 billion years since I've updated, so i figured hey why not.

I'm currently in North Carolina.
I miss my boyfriend like you wouldn't believe and I feel really shitty that I'm away from him on our 6 month anniversary...and even worse, it's my fault that I'm away from him.
I went to the beach today in hopes of getting a tan. Yeah. Right. You kinda need sunlight for that to happen.
I really miss my friends. I miss last summer...minus Shane haha. I really miss all of them. I feel so...idk...i guess left out because no one ever really wants to hang out anymore. Or maybe they do and I'm just too busy spending time with Mikael. IDK. I'm just trying my best to finally grow up and make good decisions that getting drunk every night just doesn't sound appealing to me anymore. Not that I have a problem with my friends drinking because I'm pretty sure they can do whatever the fuck they want, but...idk. I'm just over the whole drama that alcohol only intensifies by a thousand.
My mom thinks I'm not going to go back to school in September. She thinks that since Mikael dropped out then so will I. Oh yeah I guess so. I might fail out, but I'm not gonna quit. Screw that.
My dad has a job. At Pepsi. Woo. My stepdad works at Coke. They should have a dual to see which one really is better.

Yeah. That's about it.
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(no subject) [Jan. 10th, 2006|12:35 am]
'"I love you"-magical words, longed for, hoped for, dreamed about. "I love you"--words that hold out the promise that loneliness will be stilled, that life will at last be complete. Once, not so long ago, I heard those words and thought about forever. Once, they signaled the end of the search, meant that I would marry and live happily ever after. Now, I'm not so sure"

--Lillian B. Rubin
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noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo [Aug. 19th, 2005|01:01 pm]
I think I'm gonna go kill myself now. All of my CDs are scratched all to hell and won't work anymore:(:(:(
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(no subject) [Jun. 26th, 2005|02:52 pm]
Which 80s icon are you sleeping with? by her_name_is_rio
Date of Birth
You are sleeping with:
You have been since:March 3, 1999
How you met:a meet and greet
How many times a week you have sex:415
You've had this many pregnancy scares:10
You plan to get married on:August 26, 2022
They have no idea you're really a:rodeo clown
Their favorite sexual positon is:they prefer oral sex
Your favorite sexual roleplay:school girl
What they yell out during sex:someone else's name
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I don't think even I could have that much sex a week...
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