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It's amazing how one minute someone can tell you that they love you… - Wow...That's really bad [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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[Sep. 4th, 2006|11:41 pm]
[mood |blahblah]

It's amazing how one minute someone can tell you that they love you and that they'll always be there for you and then the next minute they can just toss you aside like you're a dirty sock in a rummage sale. I thought promises of forever actually meant something, but apparently they only mean until something better comes along. I wanted space and that's what I got alright. That's ok. I should be used to this feeling by now...shouldn't I? The feeling of emptiness. Sadness. Failure. This time was different...or so I thought. Sure had me fooled. I thought I was coming to a sense of clarity. I did, but it wasn't what I was hoping for. I thought maybe I could forgive and forget, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Not that he cares. Why would he? I'm just me. A sad lost little girl who looks for love in all the wrong places. One who is so desperate to be loved by someone, anyone, that she would do whatever it takes just to find it...even if that means giving up on everyone. In the last 2 weeks, I've felt so alive, but so trapped. So free, yet so locked away. So happy, yet so lost. I don't know what to think anymore. What to believe. Who to believe. Why I should even care anymore. People I thought were once my "friends" only fuel the deceit. Who can I even trust? I know of one. One person who's been there for me no matter how many times I've pushed him away for some other guy. No matter how many times I've fucked up. He's always there. And always will be. I love you. I know now what it's like to get your heart stabbed right out of your chest and stomped on. Something I could so easily do to others before without a second thought. I guess in a way I needed this. I needed to see that I can't run to just any guy for a few months of affection and false love. I guess this time was different.

[User Picture]From: sexual_stephenr
2006-09-05 04:52 am (UTC)
I love you too.

I really, really do.
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